Lately I find myself often (very often) holding a child in my arms as I gaze helplessly around me at all the things in my house that need doing.
As I stand and sway to get Beatrice to sleep, I take stock of all the books, doll clothes, harmonicas, random puzzle pieces and plastic tea cups littering my living room floor. I stare at the pile of unpaid bills, the creatively stacked towers of dirty dishes threatening to topple, that half-finished knitting project that will probably never be completed, and the laundry spilling out of the hampers (how can that be, when I sometimes feel like the only thing I do is laundry? *sigh*).
When I’m holding Adeline, cuddling her through one of the many daily meltdowns of a two-year-old, I admit I’m often thinking of that email I need to send to a friend, or a blog post I’d like to write, or one of the innumerable sewing projects in my head that I’m longing to work on, or how I really really need to scrub the bathtub (sometimes her meltdowns happen in the bathroom).
Sure, I have a baby carrier. Ok, I have several baby carriers. And I love them and use them a lot. But there’s only so much I can do with a baby strapped to my chest.
So I try very hard very often to remind myself, when it looks like I’m getting nothing done, that I am actually doing something really important, something that needs doing. I may not be making much in the way of sewn and knitted items, or baked goods, or other tangible things. But I am creating bonds of love and trust that will help my daughters grow into compassionate and competent people, bonds that will hopefully hold this family together through whatever the future may have in store for us.