Today was an unbelievably gorgeous November day. 70 degrees. Light breeze. And as sunset neared, I realized: this is the perfect opportunity to take pictures of the girls for our Christmas card! Outside in plenty of gorgeous sunlight, no winter coats needed. There was only one problem: I was alone with the girls. Jake was gone. I would have to be photographer and set designer and baby distracter all in one. I knew this was a bad idea; I really, really knew this could never work. And yet, I reasoned with myself, I will probably never get another opportunity like this again.
So, you can see for yourself how things turned out. That near-sunset light was absolutely perfect. But a baby who can’t sit up and a two-year-old who doesn’t want her sister touching her do not make for delightful subjects..
The worst part is how I reacted to the situation. You may think that, since I went into this endeavor knowing it was doomed to fail, I took it all in stride and accepted my failure gracefully.
I did not. I pouted. I sulked. I fumed that Jake hadn’t received the ESP signals I was sending out to him to come home now and help me with this!
And after all that, I was downright disappointed in myself. I realized that I had missed the perfect opportunity to model for Adeline an appropriate response to frustration. She is very easily frustrated which can quickly lead to a meltdown, and Jake and I are always getting on her to relax, be patient, calm-down-it’s-no-big-deal. And here I am, reacting to frustration in a manner very similar to that of my two-year-old (though I did refrain from throwing myself on the floor in tears). I’m supposed to be the grown-up here, the one who can control her emotions and is teaching her daughter to do the same.
Sometimes being the grown-up is hard.