missed opportunities

Today was an unbelievably gorgeous November day.  70 degrees.  Light breeze.  And as sunset neared, I realized: this is the perfect opportunity to take pictures of the girls for our Christmas card!  Outside in plenty of gorgeous sunlight, no winter coats needed.  There was only one problem: I was alone with the girls.  Jake was gone.  I would have to be photographer and set designer and baby distracter all in one.  I knew this was a bad idea; I really, really knew this could never work.  And yet, I reasoned with myself, I will probably never get another opportunity like this again.

So, you can see for yourself how things turned out.  That near-sunset light was absolutely perfect.  But a baby who can’t sit up and a two-year-old who doesn’t want her sister touching her do not make for delightful subjects..

The worst part is how I reacted to the situation.  You may think that, since I went into this endeavor knowing it was doomed to fail, I took it all in stride and accepted my failure gracefully.

I did not.  I pouted.  I sulked.  I fumed that Jake hadn’t received the ESP signals I was sending out to him to come home now and help me with this!

And after all that, I was downright disappointed in myself.  I realized that I had missed the perfect opportunity to model for Adeline an appropriate response to frustration.  She is very easily frustrated which can quickly lead to a meltdown, and Jake and I are always getting on her to relax, be patient, calm-down-it’s-no-big-deal.  And here I am, reacting to frustration in a manner very similar to that of my two-year-old (though I did refrain from throwing myself on the floor in tears).  I’m supposed to be the grown-up here, the one who can control her emotions and is teaching her daughter to do the same.

Sometimes being the grown-up is hard.


7 thoughts on “missed opportunities

  1. That is the thing with kids; we will have a million more opportunities to teach. We can’t be perfect parents all the time! You are a wonderful mother and a good way to know that is that you are able to see how things could have been done differently. Good parenting is a learning experience, sometime trial and error are part of it! ps. the pics are still cute!!

  2. Sara~
    I’m right there with you. I’ve had SO many tantrums in front of my children it’s embarrassing (Many of which have been during photo shoots-ahem!). We’re trying to teach them, but they in turn our teaching us. Just think, your patience and character would never be stretched in the same way if you weren’t a parent. A blessing in disguise! 🙂 Adorable pics of the girls, love those matching outfits!

  3. It’s so frustrating when everything seems right but you can’t pull it together in the end. I for one have a really hard time letting go of “my” plan when that happens. But we live and learn right? Plus those pictures are still really cute. How ironic would it be to use a picture of kids acting like kids in a holiday card?

  4. Ooh, I so got this post. I had a melt down this week myself! So long as the melt downs are the exception and not the norm kids are pretty forgiving and forgetting, my two oldest can attest to that..so don’t beat yourself up too bad!

  5. Pingback: redefining a “good” day | making life

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